were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
