He disabled his match.com account in front of me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it's great music for shaving your balls
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
