He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
