I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
