i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
