he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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