She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sorry my hands just texted you
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
