He asked to "fluff my boner.."
no you cant smoke seaweed
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
