Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
