everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
