I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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