I don't usually arrange sex via text message
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
smell my finger.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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