Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
