Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
