Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
