all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
