lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
