We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
