And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
