Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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