Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
