Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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