I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
