Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Say something about gay babies.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
