So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
