scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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