omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You were trust falling into bushes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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