do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
