and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
