so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
