Duck Duck Cougar?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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