I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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