Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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