is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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