hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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