i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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