After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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