Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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