Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
its liver damage thursday
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
