He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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