sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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