shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
