I bet he comes in French.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
