I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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