Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
babies were throwing up all over the place
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
