even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
