She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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