Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't turn off my feet"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
