This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
