I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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